Tips for Ensuring Success with Changing Your Mindset
I was an anxiety ridden child, a paranoid teenager, a fearful young adult and a cautious mature adult. Some of my fears were unfounded, and some were based on experiences that I couldn't ‘get over' or ‘shake off'.
Each and every one of my life experiences can be a positive or negative part of my success today. I've learned, and am still learning, how to look at each experience as a story. The story is short, has a beginning and an end. When I'm able to tell the story I'm often able to see past the feelings and into the reality of the situation. And when this happens? That's when I learn the most.
How does this affect my success today?
Everything we experience in life can become a way or reason to sabotage our success. Even when things are going right, we may be afraid. This is how it sounds:
I've been asked to write an ebook about How to Develop a Success Mindset. My first reaction is excitement and surprise that someone would think I could write such an ebook.
This is soon followed by my remembering all of my failures. Going back to 3rd grade an my failure to spell ‘professionals' correctly in the local Spelling Bee then moving to a piano recital that went from bad to worse because my hands were so slick they completely slipped off the black keys. Then on to the stammering attempt to give a speech in a contest to the failing grades I received in high school. Next come the adult experiences of presenting the wrong material to the boss and being told I'm an incompetent *)j(#&f@*. And it goes on.
Within 5 minutes I've covered the entire spectrum of failures in my life that all lead to one thing – proving that I cannot possibly write an ebook about Success Mindset.
There was a time I stopped thinking and let the stories sit in their muck in my brain.
Today, while some of this still happens, it doesn't just sit and stew. I take control of my thinking and move past those stories into the ones that support why I should write that ebook. Like:
At one time being afraid to speak in public, I'm now able to speak in front of hundreds of people at a time. This is because I recognized my lack of training and joined Toastmasters. What they taught me has enabled me to turn the volume down on Fear and turn the volume up on Faith because I now know how to prepare to speak to a group. I turned a ‘Can't' into an ‘I don't know how to therefore I will learn'.
A lot of my failures were due to procrastination. I was quite adept at putting things off until ‘Someday'. It was easier than actually doing something that I might fail at. Including owning my own business! I'll do it ‘Someday'. Then ‘Someday' became ‘Today' and I took the action to own my own business.
There was a time when I was open to being around all types of people. I was very accepting and welcoming of various personalities and temperaments. Until I realized that by having no boundaries I was allowing myself to be guided by people that didn't have my best interest in mind. I had miserable, broken people telling me that ‘in spite of my oddities I could get things done', I had angry people telling me ‘don't fake being nice, we see right through it', and I had anxiety filled people telling me ‘it's better to play it safe than take a risk'. I eventually weeded out the naysayers, miserable and lazy people and now surround myself with people who are focused on their success and mine, who are interested in helping others to be better, and who are fully aware of their own frailties but refuse to push them on other people. Instead, telling their own stories and taking control of their own lives.
How Do You Change Your Mindset?
If you find yourself lost in the negative self-talk, being anchored in your past mistakes and failures, and want to change, then here are a few tips that you may find helpful:
– Don’t say “Can’t”. Every day you give yourself all sorts of reasons why you can’t do this or achieve that. Stop it. You have the ability to take the actions you need to get closer to your goal of succeeding. Instead of saying I can’t, figure out what is causing you to think that way. Is it because you don't know? Is it a fear of not knowing what the end result might be? Are you unwilling to do what is necessary to make something happen? Find out why and then face that reality.
– Avoid telling yourself “Someday”. Being afraid to take action often leads to procrastination and telling yourself that you will do it “Someday”. Well, guess what – There are 7 days in a week and “Someday” isn't one of them. Make the decision…do you really want to do it, experience it, get it done? Or, is it something you really don't care about? Either way, do something based on the decision. You'll feel better for it. Trust me.
– Quit putting off taking action. Your brain will often convince you you’re not ready, you don’t know enough yet and you must do more research before you take action or make a decision. This analysis paralysis leads to mentally being unable to take action on anything. Time flies when you use excuses for not doing the work to follow your dreams. Start taking action and learn as you go.
– Stop saying you don’t have time to build success. Turn off the TV. Stay off Twitter and Facebook. Spend one less weekend partying. Instead, use that time to build your business. Prioritize your goals for success over these other activities.
– Get away from negative people. Misery loves company. If you want to be miserable and unsuccessful, hang out with your negative friends. It’s hard for unhappy people to support others who are on the road to success. Distance yourself as much as possible from negative people as you go for your goals. Find and hang out with people who are positive and committed to creating their own success.
– Forget justifying why you did or didn’t do something. Instead, watch yourself. Observe what you did and why you did it. Was it fear, control issues, or a need for attention? Once you know why you are doing something, you can begin to make changes to avoid repeating it.
– Don’t just assume you know what success means. Find someone who is having the success you want and use their story to help you visualize what success will look look to you.
– Don’t be a perfectionist. If you mess up, don’t give up. Tell yourself we all make mistakes and mistakes can be fixed. Don't believe me? Every successful person has a long list of failures and mistakes in their journey. Read an autobiography and see for yourself.
– Quit jumping all over the place. Focus on what is most important to your success. For example, concentrate on one way to make money at a time. Trying to balance multiple moneymaking projects at one time just leads to frustration. Successful people develop the ability to concentrate on what they need to succeed.
– Don’t try to please everyone all the time. You can’t. When you see yourself doing this, take a step back and define who really matters and what you can do to please yourself and them.