Indecision Is A Decision
Remember that time, a while ago, when you were presented with an opportunity that you knew
would make a big difference in your life?
Remember when the days leading up to that opportunity were filled with
angst and fear and anxiety and Complete Lack of Confidence?
And when you saw the opportunity you let the fear take over so you didn't jump on it?
And your life stayed the same … day after day of wondering “what if?”…
Until the next opportunity presented itself?
And you let the fear take over so you didn't jump on it?
Before I started my online business in 2008, I lived in fear of making the wrong decision. A result of my actually making a decision even earlier in life …
to not make a decision.
Yes, that's really a ‘thing'.
Anyway, I was presented with an opportunity in the mid-80's to purchase a successful diner in the downtown area of a small town. I was excited about the chance to own a successful business. I was envisioning the days of working there, working with the short order cook and working with the vendors. Then I started thinking. And my thinking led to having conversations in my head with:
- the banker
- the current owner
- the customers
and my thinking included their side of the conversations until I finally thought myself out of the opportunity.
A few years later I was presented with an opportunity to purchase a candy store, in a high end office building, with corporate clients and a few candies made on the premises. I was envisioning the days of working with HR departments and Executive Assistants, of training a front of the store person, of learning the art of candy making. Then I started thinking. And my thinking led to having the same conversation in my head. Leading me to think myself out of the opportunity.
I can recount many stories like this. I was so frustrated and anxious working in a corporate setting, and I didn't seem to be able to get out of it!
Insight Comes From The Outside
Then, one day, I was visiting my mom and we were enjoying a cup of coffee on her back deck. I was telling her about my frustrations and those ‘missed' opportunities. That's how I described them – I ‘missed out'. And she said one thing that has stuck with me as the truth about me …
“Charlene, given enough time you will think yourself out of doing something.”
Many years later that statement sticks with me. Because it's true.
Now, I don't know if you're like me, but I used to attribute my “think it over” to the need to know more. I ‘must' have all the information about the past/present/future about something before I can make a decision.
I think you know where this is going …
I never made a decision because I had made the decision, early on, to NOT make a decision by making my requirements too stringent. Nobody and nothing can provide the information I required to make a decision. In the end it made life very easy for me – you see, it meant I never had to take responsibility. Can't be responsible if you never made the decision, right? Made it easy to blame others. Can't be my fault, you made the decision!
Stopping The Over Thinking
Today I'm glad to say that I rarely do this. I admit to occasionally getting stuck in my own head, and if it isn't my husband that forces the conversation for me to make a decision, then it's the statement from my mom – so many years ago – that knocks me flat on my butt.
A valuable tool I use regularly is a MasterMind group. A group of professionals that keep me focused on building my business, that answer my questions of How Do I Do It, that offer me opportunities to answer their questions with How I Did It.
Another tool I use often is the video chat. If I've not talked with someone about growing my business for a week or so, I'll get online and set up a video chat to talk face-to-face with one of my MasterMind group members. Sometimes it's just a few minutes, but that's all I need to keep me from thinking my way out of making a decision!
What about you? Do you suffer from indecision? Do you know why?