To grow I need to know what needs to be changed.

There was a time when I was overwhelmed with a LOT of things I wanted to change about myself, personally, because I wanted to be a better person.

Some of these things included:

  • be better at communicating with my husband – I'm a terrible talker, though a great listener
  • be better at telling people bad news – that awkward moment when I see a client's new logo and it is really ugly and doesn't tell the world what they will get when they work with the client.
  • be better at face-to-face networking – if I'm tired it's very difficult for me to have conversations with people (big sign that I'm an introvert doesn't help because they don't care).

What I didn't know was how to begin.

So I asked someone.

I sought the advice of an older woman (think grandmother type) over a cup of coffee in her kitchen.

She shared with me her struggles with personal growth and then told me this:

Pick one thing you want to change. Just one.

Now, write it down. Whether it's in a journal or on note paper.

Then, write down what you're exchanging it for – can't change something without it looking different!

So, write down what the ‘different' looks like.

Say a prayer, asking for help to make this change.

Say the prayer every morning.

Pay attention throughout the day so when you find yourself thinking or acting the way you DON'T want to – take a breath and remember how you DO want to think or act. Yes – stop what you're doing and think for a moment about what you're doing…then do it differently.

I did this – and have done it many, many times because it works.

Sometimes I notice a difference quickly, sometimes slowly. But if I stick with it, I always experience the change.

Now you Know – are you going to do something about it? Are you going to try this yourself? If so, I recommend that you stick with it until you ‘feel' or ‘see' the change in yourself before you move on to the next piece of you that you want to change.

Would love to know what you think about this, so please leave a comment and feel free to share with your network if you think they can learn from this.

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0 thoughts on “How to Get Better

  1. At one time I never thought about writing it down. Sometimes when people told me to write things down, it sounds silly to me. But one day I tried it, and I found it does make a big difference when you see the written word and especially when you wrote it.

  2. Love everything about this post Charlene — from the image, to the idea of chunking or focusing on one thing at a time, and of course being attentive to that one thing. Thanks.

  3. Charlene – this is a great post. I literally just finished The Slight Edge and this post has reaffirmed everything that was discussed in the book!

  4. Charlene thanks for sharing this, you really brought out some key points in change. One at a time and writing it down in different light several times to truly be clear in the change and replacement.

  5. Great contribution to the 21 day bloging challenge! Change is certainly something that’s not easy to make – we’ve spent YEARS refining and honing our (bad and good) habits, so it makes sense it takes strong focus to unlearn them.

    Another thing I found super useful in my growth is to pay close attention to what I’m watching and what I’m taking in via my senses. What examples of relationships do I admire? Seek out more of those. What examples do I cringe from? Get busy and spend less time in the company of those ones. Don’t have to ditch everyone completely, but listen to more things that are inspiring and uplifting and less things that are depressing or fear-mongoring, spend more time with people who are the same.

    Upgrade your inputs (audiobooks, what you’ll tolerate in conversations, what you watch on TV) and look for people who are good examples of what you’d like to be more like. Nobody is perfect, but many have awesome aspects we can learn from and grow from.

    Immerse yourself in what you want to be, and it comes much easier!

    Jill Lampi

    My 21 day blogging contribution:
    How The Internet Changed The Way We Learn

    1. Hi Jill – you are so spot on with What Goes In has a direct impact on how I view the world. So glad you stopped by.

  6. Hi Charlene,

    KUDO’s on your fine work so far! 🙂

    I spotted you in the Facebook 21DBC group and thought I’d pay you a visit.

    A very nicely written post for sure.

    Happy 2015,

    Steven Suchar

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